Couple celebrates life with a getaway for cancer patients

By JILL BAUER

jillbauer@worldnet.att.net

When Bob Caporale's wife of 23 years, Jeannie, died in 2002 after a 17-year battle with breast and brain cancer, his world was turned upside down.

But Caporale -- an attorney and the chairman of Game Plan LLC, an investment banking company for the sports industry -- never imagined his nephews would become his stepsons or that his mother-in-law would become his mother-in-law all over again. Caporale, 60, certainly never dreamed that in 2004 he'd marry his sister-in-law, Chris.

Says Chris Powers Caporale, 49, a former math teacher at Miami Country Day School and model, 'The very last thing my sister said to me was, `Take care of Bob.' ''

Although Chris has three other siblings, she and her older sister Jeannie were the closest. When Chris was in sixth grade, Jeannie often flew her to Boston as respite from her alcoholic stepfather. ''We made an adventure of everything we did. I absolutely adored her,'' Chris said.

When Bob talks about ''his'' Jeannie, he often fights back tears. ''Everyone who met her thought she was seriously the most admired, strongest person they ever met,'' Bob said.

In fact, during several lengthy conversations with Chris and Bob it becomes clear that they both adored Jeannie Powers Caporale and that Chris is eternally grateful to her brother-in-law turned husband. ''Bob was so amazing taking care of her. He became an expert in tracheotomies, breathing tubes and feeding tubes. I'd just come into town and see how loving he was.'' Chris said.

''After Jeannie died, Bob and I stayed in touch. We kind of leaned on each other because she just meant everything to him and everything to me,'' Chris said.

At the time of her sister's death, Chris was separated from her photographer husband and was sure she'd never remarry. But she had every intention of living up to her promise to take care of Bob. So 1 ½ years after Jeannie's death, she plotted to fix Bob up with her recently widowed neighbor.

''My sister told me to take care of Bob so that's what I was doing,'' Chris said. 'But then we went out on our neighbor's boat and she started passing out sandwiches and I turned toward Bob and at the same time he turned toward me and it was as if Tinker Bell was sprinkling love dust on us. I just said, `Oh my God, I love this guy.' It was just magical,'' Chris said.

''I missed Tinker Bell,'' Bob said dryly. ``She must have been behind me. But there was all of a sudden, recognition of a feeling.''

But before this unexpected romance, Chris got into her car in Miami Beach and drove north. She had no particular destination in mind but it was clear that after the devastating loss of her sister -- Chris calls Jeannie her best friend and soul mate -- she was searching for something.

''I thought I was going to North Carolina but it was too far so I ended up in South Carolina in the middle of flipping nowhere,'' Chris said. This middle of nowhere turned out to be a house on a swath of land near Aiken, S.C., often referred to as thoroughbred country.

Chris thought it might be a sign, as Jeannie was an avid equestrian who rode horses throughout her illness -- even when she had to be lifted onto a horse by two people.

``The next day I had a real estate agent show me the property and I walked down this hill to a pond and I just stood there and I swear I felt my sister's presence. I felt that I shouldn't be afraid, that I should just do this, that it's going to be OK.''

The next day Chris signed a contract and purchased the farm -- which she named Two Sisters Farm. ''I'm not a religious person but I took a cross and drove it into the ground. It's still there today. When I'm there, I feel her there,'' Chris said.

A couple of months later, Chris saw a magazine article about Women Beyond Cancer (WBC), a nonprofit for women with cancer. The group's main activity is offering Life Lodge retreats to women diagnosed with cancer. These three- to four-day retreats take place in recuperative ``natural settings.''

''Aha,'' Chris thought. ``This is what I need to do at Two Sisters Farm.''

Chris contacted Lola Bogue, one of the WBC founders, and offered to hold a retreat at Two Sisters Farm. On June 7-10 Chris was hostess to five breast cancer survivors from a therapy program at Miami Beach's Mount Sinai Hospital and a breast cancer survivor from South Carolina at their inaugural Southeastern WBC Life Lodge retreat.

Chris, Lola Bogue, a group facilitator and a volunteer chef (who lost his mother and sister to cancer) spent those 3 ½ days helping the women rejuvenate mind, body and spirit.

''Today, a cancer diagnosis doesn't have to mean the end of a life, either figuratively or literally,'' said WBC co-founder Lola Bogue. ``In fact, it can be a beginning to discover a full life by learning to live beyond the limitations of cancer.''

Chris and Bob see their sponsorship of Life Lodge retreats as turning their loss into something to benefit many. They plan to host three or four Life Lodge retreats a year at Two Sisters Farm.

''Since Jeannie died it's made me think about the things that are important to me,'' Bob said. ''When Jeannie got sick I had to resign from a lot of boards I was active on because I just wanted to take care of her. I started to think about what was important to me and I only wanted to focus on a couple of charities. One was the therapeutic riding school where she used to ride and also these retreats,'' Bob said.

''If we can just help someone who's going through the diseases, help uplift them spiritually, help them to talk and relax, that seems beneficial,'' Bob added, as Chris chimed in with details: ``Everything's free at the retreat. They get massages and we take them to the oldest, finest hotel in Aiken.

''You just mention this to people and everyone's affected by cancer,'' Chris continued. ``[Doctors] will help to get you better but you need the strength from within and this little retreat helps.''

During a recent afternoon at the Sunset Island home where Chris, Bob and her son Ryan, 22, a University of Miami senior, live, it becomes abundantly obvious the couple is grateful to have been miraculously united by their Jeannie. (Chris' son Tyler, 19, is a sophomore at Santa Fe Community College in Gainesville.)

''I don't think we got together as a couple because we were mourning the loss but because we both realize how precious life is. We wanted to rejoice together,'' Chris said as she mentions a bumper sticker she recently purchased: ``I Believe in Life Before Death.''